The Change in the Answer
by CJsMom
Summary: My revision of the Boy with the Answer. Rated T for language and suggestive situations. B & B are getting busy.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first attempt at fanfiction. I've been reading it for months, but only just got the courage to take a stab at it myself. This story is the result of an idea that I presented to a couple of my favorite authors, neither of whom seemed very interested in exploring it further. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and Man Up (or Woman Up, as it were) and do it myself. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed creating it.**

Brennan looked up as Booth entered her office bearing a brown paper bag and bringing with him the enticing smell of Thai food. He carefully unloaded the paper cartons, then turned and said, "Come on, Bones. You've been at it for hours. You gotta eat something."

Distractedly she replied, "In a little while." Then, frustrated, she continued, "Her old court documents from when she was a prosecutor have case numbers, criminal code numbers, and then there are zip codes."

"Well, that's great and all, but you know what? It's not going to be any good if you starve yourself to death."

Brennan looked up at him severely. "She was laughing at me, Booth. I-I can't let her win."

"She won't," he reassured her.

"You hope. She may be amoral, but she is brilliant," a touch of anger colored her voice.

"Well, you're more brilliant." He wasn't sure where she was going with this, but he had a pretty good idea of where it was coming from.

"What if her dispassion makes her more logical? What if that gives her an advantage over me?"

"Wait a second. Now you're upset because you're not _more_ like a psychopath?"

Brennan took a deep breath. "I just think…maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I'm involved with now."

Booth felt his stomach drop as he raised his eyes from his food to her face. Regardless of her words, what he heard in her voice was, _You make me weak._ He looked at her, speechless.

"All of the relationships—they complicate logical thought," she continued.

Shaking his head, Booth insisted, "You don't mean that." He held her eyes and watched her struggle internally. _Please, say you don't mean that._

She looked away from him and bristled. "Could we please just work?"

"Sure." He knew this was not the time to push her, but he couldn't help the despair that needled him at her words, spoken in that curt, no-nonsense tone.

She raised her eyes to his once more before reaching for a carton and taking a bite.


	2. Chapter 2

Brennan was hunched over a file, the words swimming in front of her eyes as she tried to focus. But the fear coiled in her stomach was proving too great a distraction. The knock on her door made her jump a little.

Peering through the peephole, she saw Booth and opened the door. Without preamble he launched into the case as he entered her apartment, "So the Gilroy kid, he was last seen at Rockland Mall on June 23rd. I'm gonna check all Taffet's credit card records for that date, too."

"Caroline said you can't give expert testimony if she's prosecuting your case."

"I told Caroline to drop my charges, too."

Brennan looked at him for a moment, tilting her head to one side. A sudden vulnerability flashed across her features.

"I'm not gonna let you do this alone." Booth paused and watched Brennan lower her eyes, then raise them again to meet his. "She's gonna see the judge tomorrow morning at 10:00, and then we can dive in on this."

"Thanks, Booth."

"We're partners. That's what we do." He took a half step toward her, despite the table between them. "Right?"

She considered for a moment.

"If Taffet is acquitted on this count, she can never be tried again." Brennan paused and Booth's face became somber. "I mean, maybe that's why she wanted us to find the boy." Her voice was laced with doubt.

"Yeah, well, she's arrogant, like Sweets said. And, she misjudging you," Booth insisted.

Turning away, Brennan confessed, "I have nightmares, Booth." He could hear the tears she was holding back, and it made him ache for her. "Hodgins is bleeding…you're drowning. I-I can't help anyone."

"All right. You know what? She's never gonna get the better of you, all right?" He stepped around the table, approaching her as he said, "Just know that. All right? I promise, okay?" She leaned forward, and his arms automatically encircled her.

As she relaxed against him, he resisted the urge to clench his fists. The tension drained from her body, and it felt as if he were absorbing it with his own.

Brennan was overwhelmed by the sense of security his proximity afforded, while simultaneously consumed by guilt, knowing that he would extend this comfort to her despite the cost to himself. She wasn't deliberately toying with him, but she knew that's what was happening, regardless of her intentions.

Enveloped by her arms, her scent, he fought to focus on something—anything—other than the fact that she was in his arms, melting against him. _Goddamn it. _

He'd endured torture in his life: the soles of his feet beaten with hoses, punches to the gut, repeated kicks to already fractured ribs, a heated, sharpened screwdriver driven into his thigh, but this…he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. She needed him. He didn't doubt that. But she refused to acknowledge it.

Just as he was formulating an excuse to leave, she pulled away slightly and spoke in a small voice, "I know you have to go. I'll…"she trailed off, unsure of what to say. Her eyes were cast downward and she was slowly turning away when she finally whispered, "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Suddenly she was at arms length and then disappearing into the kitchen.

"Bones…" he called her name hesitantly, unsure of what he was going to say. _This is your chance to escape. Weren't you just trying to find an excuse to leave? _

When he didn't continue she turned to face him, and he saw naked fear in her eyes. She didn't want to be alone. He was silent for three beats, wrestling with himself.

Aware that she wanted him to stay but wouldn't ask him, he made his decision.

Finally, in a strangled voice he began, "Could—" he cleared his throat. "Could I have a beer?"

She raised her eyebrows slightly in a surprise and she asked, "Are you sure?"

He almost reconsidered, but the hopeful tinge in her voice made him smile and say, "What? Are you afraid I'm gonna drink all your beer?" trying to lighten the mood a little.

She offered a tight smile before she turned back to the kitchen and returned a moment later, handing him a bottle. As settled herself on the couch, she asked to see the file.

She tucked her legs underneath her, and he watched her slim fingers toy with the corner of the paper label on her bottle of water.

When she raised the bottle to her lips, he tried to look away, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw her pale throat, working as she swallowed. His mouth became dry and he took another sip of his beer.

She watched him carefully, trying to be surreptitious, curious as to why he stayed. She knew him. His sense of loyalty tethered him to her, even when her presence was plainly an obstacle to his own emotional well-being.

She sighed quietly. _I should tell him to leave. I should insist that I want to be alone._ She opened her mouth, but the words wouldn't form.

She knew without a doubt that she cared for him, depended on him, and since That Night, as she referred to it in her head, she had agonized over every word, every gesture.

She had realized long before his desperate plea that she was dependent on him. That she needed him. But more than that…she loved him. More than she had believed she was capable of loving another person, which was precisely the reason…she sighed. It was illogical to continue this circular train of thought.

Conversation centering on the Taffet case and work in general flowed easily between them.

He finished his first beer and asked for another. She hesitated, but when she looked at him questioningly he just shrugged and smiled lightly. After draining the second one he got the third one himself. And the fourth.

She frowned. It was highly unusual for him to indulge so heavily. Brennan was concerned, but afraid of what she might say if she strayed from the topic of the case.

When it was nearly 11:00, he stood. Reluctantly, he moved slowly to gather his jacket, phone, and keys, but she protested. "Booth, it isn't safe for you to drive. You're intoxicated. You should wait at least an hour before…"she hesitated. "You could—I mean, I have a guest room. It would only take a moment to put on sheets."

Booth froze. If he were being completely honest with himself, he might admit that the extra beers were to relieve some of the tension he felt being with her in her apartment late at night—it was just a little too intimate for him to be really comfortable given recent events, even with the pretense of going over the case.

But he was also trying to give her an excuse to ask him to stay without having to admit she didn't want to be alone. He'd been wrestling internally all night.

He knew that for his sake, he should have bolted the second she backed out of his arms. But his self-preservation instincts took a hit when he saw the vulnerability in her eyes. When it came down to it, her need trumped his pain.

And he was still harboring the faint hope that some _thing_-like a case that she was having trouble handling alone—might finally make her realize…_Don't go there. Not gonna happen, buddy. You're here as her partner, nothing more._

Half-heartedly he replied, "Nah, Bones, I'll be fine. It's just—"

"No, Booth. You should stay—so I can be certain that you are safe." There was a hint of pleading in her voice now.

"I—okay." He tapped the file folder against his thigh. "If you're sure it's not too much trouble."

"I'll go put some sheets on the bed," she called over her shoulder as she walked down the hall.

He sat down heavily on the couch and wondered what the hell he was thinking. Then he got up and grabbed another beer.

She returned a few moments later with a towel and washcloth, eyeing the drink in his hand. "Do you want to shower tonight?"

"Nah, Bones. I'm pretty beat."

"I'll just put them on the counter so you'll have them in the morning." She stood awkwardly for a moment. "Do you require anything else?"

Immediately, inappropriate thoughts featuring his partner leaped to his mind, and he took another swig of beer in an attempt to wash them away. "No," he choked out. "I—'night, Bones."

"Goodnight, Booth." She paused and watched him for a moment before turning for her bedroom. He heard the door latch quietly and took a deep breath, trying not to visualize her undressing and slipping on a silky nightgown. He groaned quietly, drained the rest of his beer, and then headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

When he entered the guest room, he closed the door softly and stripped to his boxers. It wasn't until he was lying in bed that he realized he could hear her shower running. He pounded the pillow into a ball and tried to not to think of her in the shower just a few steps away.


	3. Chapter 3

As Brennan removed her clothes and stepped into the shower she reflected on the fact that just knowing Booth was in close proximity both soothed and worried her.

His presence was a comfort to her. She remembered the way it felt as a child to be hefted into her father's arms: safe, secure, loved. When Booth hugged her after her confession about the nightmares that had been plaguing her, she was revisited with that feeling of security she had enjoyed as a child.

At the same time, she knew she shouldn't ask that of him. It wasn't fair. She saw the look in his eyes when he was physically close to her and she couldn't bear the pain she was causing him.

And yet, she had selfishly insisted he stay. She thought perhaps his presence would act as a talisman against the recurring nightmares that were waking her every night, increasing in frequency as the trial approached.

She turned the knob to make the water hotter and relished the feel of the almost scalding water pounding on her neck and back as she lathered her hair.

There was another reason she shouldn't have asked him to stay, one she had only admitted in the periphery of her mind. It lurked there, but she couldn't bring herself to examine it, even look at it directly.

She wanted to tell him yes. When he asked her to give it a shot, hope blossomed inside her that maybe they _could _be together. Be _happy _together.

_No. No no no. We might be happy temporarily, but…feelings of romantic love are fleeting and ephemeral. Nothing more than elevated levels of certain hormones in the body. Our partnership would not survive the demise of a romantic relationship. I made the correct decision. I have to protect what we have. It's the rational course of action._

She stood watching the suds swirl around the drain, disappearing beneath her feet for a moment, before she wrenched off the water and stepped out of the shower.

As she slid into a nightgown and climbed into bed, she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to be sliding into bed with him waiting for her, warming up the sheets, smiling at her…

_Stop it. Just stop it._ She began reciting the periodic table in her head to force her thoughts away from Booth and the fact that was in the next room.


	4. Chapter 4

An hour later, Booth was still lying awake, staring at the ceiling and questioning why he had stayed. _Because she's scared and hurting and she needs you and despite the fact that she doesn't want you, you can't seem to say no to her._

_She doesn't want you. _The thought echoed in his head. Every day in the weeks that had passed since he'd so carelessly thrown out those words—"I believe in giving this a chance"—he'd grown more and more angry with himself.

A thousand questions cycled through his head as if on a marquee, all of them centered on how he could have approached her differently. _There is no different outcome. The answer is always going to be "no."_

And there's the rub.

_What is wrong with you? Why doesn't any woman you love want you for keeps?_

Anger bubbled inside his chest at that thought, anger at himself for not being good enough, for fooling himself into believing that she actually wanted him, that maybe they did have a shot. He took three deep breaths and pushed it down. He'd learned to keep a tight lid on his anger.

He had it under control most of the time, but at the moment he was having a hard time reining it in. Sometimes it frightened him. He was his father's son, after all. He knew what happened when a man who was angry with himself took it out on the ones he loved.

He wouldn't do that to her. This was _his _fault, _his _problem. If necessary, he would distance himself from her for a while until he had things under control again.

_You've said that before, and here you are, spending the night in her guest room because you can't turn your back on her._

He took fthree more slow, deep breaths, and rolled over, trying to force his mind to anything other than recounting his personal failures.


	5. Chapter 5

Booth snapped awake. He knew something had woken him, but he registered only complete silence. He lay perfectly still for a moment, straining his ears.

He glanced at the clock. 3:39.

Then he heard it. Quiet whimpers broke the silence and then, softly, he heard his name.

Heart pounding, he got out of bed and crept into the hallway. He stood at her door, and softly called, "Bones?"

No answer. After a full minute, he thought perhaps he's imagined it. But just as he turned back to the guest bedroom door, he heard it again: a tiny, terrified whimper.

He froze, unsure of what to do. _Just push the door open and go to her. _

He'd never actually been in her bedroom before, and he certainly hadn't been invited now, but…he recalled the look in her eyes this evening, the one that practically screamed at him that she was frightened, the helplessness in her voice when she told him about her nightmares.

_You know you're going to regret this either way, _he berated himself. _You'll lie in bed drowning in guilt if you don't go to her. But if you go in there…do you really want to be alone with her, half-dressed, in her bedroom in the middle of the night? _

_Hell yeah, I do. Just not under these circumstances._

But the decision was taken out of his hands a moment later when she screamed "Booooooth!"

Without even thinking about it, he was through the door and standing over her bed. She was thrashing, making incoherent noises.

He put a hand on her shoulder and called her name several times, each time a little louder, but she only continued to keen and thrash.

With trepidation, he realized only one thing was going to calm her down. He laid down next to her and pulled her into his arms, curling himself around her and whispering in her ear. "Bones. It's okay…shhhhh…I'm here, I'm fine. You're fine. It's okay…I've got you," He continued whispering soft, meaningless words of comfort until she stilled.

She relaxed against him and he felt her breathing even out, ghosting over he bare chest with every exhale.

His arms tightened around her reflexively, and it suddenly hit him where he was. _Lying in her bed, with her plastered against you. Jesus. _

He was trying to find a way to extricate himself when she tensed against him.

"Booth?" The sleepiness in her voice hit him like a sock to the gut.

He swallowed hard, his heart in his throat. Through sheer force of will, he loosened his hold on her and began to scoot away, but she grabbed his arm.

"Why are you in my…" he heard realization dawn in her voice. "I—" she faltered. "What did you hear?" She sounded ashamed.

"Bones…it's okay. You're not the only one who-" He couldn't finish.

Suddenly he was overwhelmed by the intimacy of the situation. It was dark, the middle of the night, and he was sitting on the edge of her bed in nothing but his shorts, about to reassure that he had nightmares, too.

Her fingers still circled his wrist, and he felt her touch like a brand.

He closed his eyes and took a breath. _Fuck._ It was too much-to be in her bedroom in the middle of the night, almost naked and sharing confidences.

He wrenched his arm from her grasp as his stomach clenched and he was hit by a wave of regret and nausea that almost floored him.

He was thankful for the darkness, because if he'd been able to see her face when he pulled away he was sure he wouldn't have been able to leave. Just hearing her gasp of surprise was almost enough to stop him.

Almost.

"I have to-I'll just—I'll go," he stumbled over the words. He knew if he didn't get the hell out of there right that second he was going to do something he'd regret, something he wouldn't be able to take back.

As he hurriedly gathered his clothes, stepped hastily into his pants, grabbed his jacket, keys, and cell phone, not even bothering to put on his shirt, he could feel tears pricking at his eyelids and he cursed himself. _What the hell were you thinking? That you could stay the night and not be steamrolled by your feelings for her and the fact that she doesn't want you? _

He heard her behind him, but kept his back to her, squeezing his shirt and jacket in his fist in an attempt to keep himself in check. He tried to keep his voice even as he said, "I know it's late Bones…or early…but I'm sober now. I have to—" his voice broke, and he shook his head. "I have to—" he tried again.

Brennan stood uncertainly in the hallway, shivering in her thin nightgown.

She could read the dejection in the slump of his bare shoulders and when the heard the desperation in his words, she felt her resolve crumbling.

She moved closer to him, but he determinedly kept his back to her, even as she touched his shoulder.

"Booth…"she ventured, her eyes tracing the broad expanse of his back and her fingers itching to touch him all over. _I don't know how to do this. Do you still want me? Are you angry with me? _The thoughts flickered through her brain and she searched for he right words.

Finally, she spoke again, "Booth, please look at me."

_Run. Get out of here now,_ he thought. But he was paralyzed. He was terrified to let her see him like this, but the catch in her voice made it impossible for him to leave.

He closed his eyes and prayed for guidance and strength. He heard her shift and when he opened his eyes she was in front of him, between him and the front door.

"I can't do this," even to him, his voice sounded hard. "I can't stand in your living room half-dressed and pretend that I wasn't just in your fucking bed, holding you, waking you from a nightmare. You called my name. _My _name, Bones."

He felt his anger building and he relished it. Anger was much simpler than the desperation he'd been swimming in since he'd been awoken by her cries.

Her lips parted in surprise and her cheeks flushed.

Suddenly feeling reckless, he took a step forward and pinned her against the door, planting his palms against the wood next to her shoulders.

His mouth was almost touching her ear when he spoke. "I stayed because you needed me to. I want to give you everything you need, everything you want, Bones, but it's destroying me." His breath tickled her ear and his voice was quiet, but the words were razor sharp.

Brennan felt a flush radiate from her core to the tips of her extremities. She was fighting to keep her breathing even, trying not to betray the effect his proximity was having on her body when she was struck by a thought that was both terrifying and reassuring. _I'm going to lose him anyway._

Suddenly it was so obvious. She had refused him in an attempt to save their partnership, but if what he said was true…_it's destroying me…_then the logical progression of events dictated that she would lose him regardless.

Fear pooled in her belly like ice. She couldn't win. And on the heels of that realization she had an epiphany: _The very fact that I'm losing him anyway negates the risk. _

A strangled sob escaped her as relief and certainty washed over her.

He pulled back just enough to meet her eyes, expecting to see the vulnerability he's witnessed earlier. Instead he saw hunger, and it stoked his anger. His lips hovered over hers and he whispered fiercely, "I want you so much that I ache. I can't be with you and I can't leave you. I just can't—" he broke off.

She snaked her arms under his and around his back, reveling in the slide of her fingertips over his smooth skin.

Booth closed his eyes as he felt her palms press against his back, drawing him closer to her. His anger faltered for a moment as he felt heat and want spread through his body.

Brennan whispered, "Just…" and he felt her breath against his lips for a single heartbeat before her mouth was on his. Snapping his leash, he crushed himself against her, pressing her harder into the door and kissing her feverishly.

Lost for a moment, his entire world centered completely on soft breasts pressed against his chest, slender arms wrapped around his back, and her mouth fastened to his.

Not ready to face what this might mean, Booth slid one hand down her side and under her nightgown. Cupping her hip, he guided her to the floor. Once she was under him, writhing, he lost all capacity for rational thought and lost himself in the torrent of emotions he'd been fighting for too long.


	6. Chapter 6

He moved over her roughly. Brennan tried to speak, but at every sound that passed her lips, he silenced her with another frantic kiss.

Booth felt like he was pouring all of his anger and frustration into her, but his rage was endless. No matter how much she siphoned off, there was still more rising to the surface.

In the back of his mind he knew he should stop, but it all felt so dream-like that he wasn't entirely convinced it was even real. Until she suddenly pushed, hard, and he found himself on his back, with her straddling his hips.

Whereas a moment ago he'd been lost in a haze of lust and fury, his mind suddenly cleared and he registered every detail: Brennan, sitting on top of him, her knees bracketing his hips; both of them breathing heavily in the sudden silence; her mussed hair and kiss swollen lips; the red patches on her throat and collarbone from his unshaven cheeks; her nightgown rucked at her waist, exposing pink panties and pale thighs.

And then the reality of what he'd done crashed around him. He'd made her the object of his rage, kissing her angrily, grinding against her fiercely. He'd taken out his anger and frustration that she didn't want him by assaulting her.

He closed his eyes as his cheeks flamed in shame and embarrassment. The only comfort he could find was that his pants were still on and zipped. _Jesus, what if I had-? What have I done?_

In the seconds he took to process, she hadn't moved. He opened one eye experimentally and peeked at her. She didn't look angry or frightened, just curious and...aroused? _Talk about wishful thinking, dumbass._

"Bones," he ground out. "I'm so—" But he was cut off when she bent down and kissed him, softly this time.

As she kissed him, she lowered her body so that she was pressed against him from chest to groin, with her thighs open around his hips. She shifted, trailing feather-light kisses next to his ear, along his jaw, down his neck and when she ran her tongue across the flat of his nipple he groaned and spluttered, "Bones, stop_. Stop!_"

She raised her eyes, but her lips and teeth continued marking his chest lightly. It was too surreal. _Am I dreaming after all?_ he wondered.

She finally raised her head. "What?" and at her question he realized he'd spoken the words out loud.

He found his voice, "I'm confused. This," he gestured between them. "What is this, Bones?"

Her brow furrowed. "I was under the impression that we were—"she stopped. "Don't you want me?" she asked hesitantly, shifting her hips against his groin and the evidence of just how _much_ he wanted her.

"Bones, I'm so sorry."

Her face fell and she didn't meet his eyes as she stood up and moved away from him. _I'm too late. He's changed his mind, _she thought. A hard knot of embarrassment and anguish settled in her chest. "It's fine, Booth. You have nothing to apologize for. You can go. I won't stop you this time."

Booth saw the shuttered expression on her face before she turned away and realized that he'd said the wrong thing. Jumping up he reached for her wrist, which she jerked away. "Just go, Booth," she said in a brittle voice.

"I don't understand…I—"

"Please don't apologize again. I understand. I missed my chance, Please, just go," she pleaded.

He thought he understood what she was saying, but he didn't trust it. It was too good to be true.

"Bones, wait!" he called to her retreating back. "Are you saying…what I think you're saying?"

With her back still to him, she answered, "How could I know what you're thinking, Booth? Telepathy is impossible," she said scornfully. She paused and he watched her shoulders rise as she drew in a shaky breath. "I just need some time to adjust. Go home." The flat tone of her voice scared him.

He realized he had a decision to make, and quickly. _Does she think you just rejected her? That you were apologizing because you don't want her? If you're wrong and you make another move…_

_But if you're right and you don't, this might be your only chance, _he argued with himself.

Terrified of another rejection, but even more frightened of the possibility of wasting what might be his last chance to be with her, he made his decision.

"Bones, I _do _want you. I _love_ you." He saw her freeze halfway down the hallway. "I didn't say it that night. I realized that later, but it's true. I'm _in _love with you. I want you every way there is. When I apologized before, it was because I thought I had forced myself…I thought you didn't want…" He cleared his throat. "I thought you didn't want _me_."

He held his breath waiting for a reaction, but she stood perfectly still.

"Bones, please. Turn around," he said softly, trying to keep the desperation he was feeling out of his voice.

She didn't, but in a small voice she said, "You love me?"

Booth hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do.

_In for a penny, in for a pound, _he decided. He closed the space between them with long strides and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his chest to her back. "Yes," he breathed, burying his face in her hair. "_God,_ yes. Do you want to …I mean have you…have you changed your mind?"

She turned in his arms and tucked her head into his neck, "I wanted to say yes then, but I—" he stopped her with a kiss.

She pulled away from him gently and asked, "Don't you want me to tell you—"

"You're saying yes?" he clarified. "To us?" Hope rose in his chest as he waited for her to speak.

"Yes," she said without hesitation, and smiled shyly at him.

"You're sure? Because, Bones, I can't—we can't go back-" she heard the note of uncertainty in his voice.

"Absolutely certain. I realized-" he cut her off with a kiss.

"Later," he said against her neck. "You can explain later. Right now…" he kissed her again and then swept her playfully into his arms. "We've got better things to do."


	7. Chapter 7

"Bones, you are amazing."

"I tried to tell you. I am_ very_ good in bed."

She felt laughter rumble in his chest under her cheek, and she peeked up at him.

"I know, I know. You had no idea what you were doing to me, did you?"

"Doing to you? I think I just proved I know _precisely _what I'm doing with you." She smiled saucily.

Another chuckle erupted from him. "No, Bones, I'm not talking about _that_. You damn well know that it was fantastic…I'm talking about all of those times you insisted on talking to me about sex."

Her brow furrowed. "What was I doing to you? I always operated under the assumption that you were constrained by puritanical—"

"Hey! Listen, I am _not _a prude. I can talk dirty when I have the proper inspiration."

"As you so aptly demonstrated. Mmmm…what were you saying? I'm finding it difficult to concentrate while you're touching me."

He rolled her so that she was fully underneath him, their sticky bodies in full contact. "You, baiting me—for years!"

"Baiting you? Booth, I was just curious. Sex is a natural phenomenon, and since that night with the tequila…I've been very curious about _your _sexual nature." She paused. "You said some very…_explicit_ things to me while we were—"

"_Don't _say 'engaging in intercourse'—_making love_. That's what we were doing."

"Hmmm…perhaps you'd prefer 'in the throes of our passionate frenzy'?"

"That? Earns you some punishment. I'm going to find every single one of your ticklish spots." Laughter filled the room as they wrestled and kissed and tickled.

"Okay! Okay!" she called between gasping breaths. When he relented, she allowed, "I concede that you are not a prude."

They collapsed on their backs next to one another, and Booth threaded his fingers through hers. He thought about all the times he had imagined this—just this, holding her hand, any sort of physical contact without the guise of the "just partners" bullshit they'd used to justify so many things. He was lost in his thoughts when she spoke.

"Aren't you going to enlighten me?."

"What?"

"You said I didn't know what I was doing to you. Please explain."

She saw a blush creeping up his neck, and smiled. "Booth, you look embarrassed."

"Bones, do me a favor. Turn over and lie on your side—facing the other way." Throwing him a look of consternation, she complied.

Booth began tracing his fingers lightly up and down her smooth, bare back. When his fingers trailed back down from her neck, she shivered and whispered, "I find that very enjoyable."

Smiling, Booth finally spoke. "Since the first time I laid eyes on you, I wanted you. Physically, obviously, I _am_ a man and you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen—don't! interrupt and tell me that it's 'unverifiable' because it's true." His voice became gentle, "You _are _the standard, Bones. I meant that."

He paused for a moment and they each reflected on the conversation they'd had about their respective dates at the elevator in the Hoover Building.

Brennan sighed, and then Booth continued, "But during the Cleo Eller case, I saw that you…I was wrong about you. After you smacked me and told me you'd never work with me again, I tried to convince myself that you were a—" he hesitated, "a cold bitch and that I'd just imagined all that…flirtiness and warmth between us. I was so angry with you, Bones. " He paused again. "Are you sure you want to talk about this?"

She turned to face him, "I just want to know the truth, Booth, you know that. No matter what you say about the past, we're here now." She cupped his cheek in her hand and kissed him. "Although, I admit I am confused. How is this relevant to your discomfort when talking about sex?"

"It just is."

She laid down on her stomach and closed her eyes. "I'm not looking at you. Continue, please."

"So…for that year that we didn't speak—" he began, as he skated his fingers over her back and shoulders.

"Thirteen months, less a week."

"Yes, because it's so important to be exact," he teased her.

She cracked an eye open, "Precision is paramount, Booth. Always."

"Okay, okay, _Dr. Brennan,_" he conceded. "For the 'thirteen months, less a week' that we didn't speak, I thought about you all the time. You were the smartest, sexiest woman I'd ever met, but more than that…I felt this…chemistry between us that I'd never felt before. It was…intoxicating. But you made it clear that you didn't want anything to do with me, so I just tried to push you out of my mind, but sometimes…I failed. Miserably."

He was quiet for a moment, lost in thought. Brennan waited patiently, stealing occasional glances at him.

"I saw you a few times, you know," he confessed.

She looked at him in surprise. "I did not."

"I—I came to a couple of your book signings, trying to figure out a way to approach you, but…I chickened out every time."

She regarded him for a moment. He could practically hear her brain whirring, processing this new information. Finally she put her head back down and closed her eyes. He took that as his signal to continue.

He cleared his throat, "And then we found a body sunk in the pond at Arlington, and I knew this was my chance. I finally had an excuse to approach you again, even if I knew I'd probably get my balls handed to me for trying." He sucked in a deep breath.

"So…when Zack stonewalled me, I had to resort to desperate measures."

"Ah, yes. I recall. You engineered a scenario in which you could 'save me' from Homeland Security."

He laughed, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. "I really really hoped you wouldn't see through that. What can I say? You're just too damn smart."

"Booth, I still fail to see what any of this has to do with your reluctance to talk about sex with me."

"Patience, woman…" At a scathing look from her, he pressed his fingers just inside her hipbone, eliciting a laugh from her. "So, as I was saying…when I finally had an excuse to see you again, I realized that I'd been lying to myself. I was enthralled. Even at first, when you seemed so hard and cold, every once in a while I'd catch a glimpse of you the way I remembered you…warm and sweet and…that just made me try harder to see more of…the 'real' you."

"I can assure you that no part of me is artificial," she replied with an arched brow.

He pulled her against him and said, "Perhaps some more investigation is in order to determine the veracity of your claims."

"Veracity?"

"What? I read! I'll have you know I have an excellent vocabulary."

"Booth! You know that I am insatiably curious."

"Insatiably?" he groaned. "Bones, I'm not twenty years old any more!"

She swatted his chest. "Booth! You know that's not what I meant!" She scooted away from him and said, "Now. Continue."

"Okay, let see…where were we?"

"You were enthralled by me."

He smiled at her affectionately. "I still am."

She blushed.

"God, you are so adorable."

"Booth!"

"All right, all right…so I was enthralled by you. But I had screwed things up so badly the last time, I wasn't going to make that mistake again. I mean, you were hot—"

"Were?"

"Bones, seriously? You have doubts that I still think you're hot?"

"Go on."

"Anyway, I was attracted to you, but I felt like everything was precarious. I didn't want you to get mad, hit me, and disappear again. So I kept things professional. But sometimes, it was hard. I mean…when we went to Washington? To figure out how that guy got eaten by a bear? Watching all those assholes ogling you really pissed me off. And then that morning you didn't come down to breakfast…I mean, I knew it wasn't any of my business, but I was afraid that you'd…"

"Had intercourse with one of them."

"Well, yeah," he sounded glum. _Was that confirmation? Do you really even want to know? _he asked himself_. _"And then the last morning we were there, you started talking about Charlie's 'well-developed hips and thighs' and then I just _knew _you'd slept with him and it…well, it ruined my appetite." Even now, lying in bed with her, he got a sick feeling in his stomach when he thought about it.

"Then there were all the other losers sniffing around you…that guy you met online, the one who was convinced those pieces of bone from the plane crash were his dad, the firemen who chopped off his brother's head—I mean, Jesus, Bones! It was like you had no idea how special you are!"

Booth's fists were clenched, and she could see a tic in his jaw. "Booth…"

He met her eyes and saw tears. "Bones," he choked out as he crushed her against him, "I'm sorry, I—I didn't mean to—"

"No, Booth, it's—I had no idea. No one has ever—I mean, I've been told that I'm extremely intelligent, that I'm beautiful, sexy even, but no one has ever treated me like I'm special. I mean, just me—not my abilities or my achievements—just _me_."

As he held her, he couldn't help thinking, _I hope there's a special place in hell for Michael Stires._

They just laid together, embracing, for a few moments. Finally, Brennan spoke up, "Booth? You still haven't explained yourself to my satisfaction."

He took a deep breath. "Bones, I've known from the moment I met you that you are special. And the fact that you couldn't see it…that you let all those assholes—" he clenched his teeth and she watched the muscles in his jaw flex.

"I fantasized about you. I thought about what it would be like for us to be together like this, but it was never just about sex. It was about _this_," he took her hand and placed it on his chest. "It was about lying in bed together afterward and talking and laughing together and…when you talked about sex so clinically, it made me ache for you. I was worried that you wouldn't ever feel this way, with anyone. And I wanted that for you, even if it wasn't with me."

Brennan has a sudden realization. "Sully," she said.

"Yeah." He looked away. "As much as it—" he couldn't quite form the words, "seeing you with him-I knew that Sully was a good guy. He wasn't going to…he gave you…Well. You know..." He met her eyes again. "You do know—right?" He had to be sure.

Gently, she traced his jaw line with her fingertips. "I know, Booth. I'm not sure if I could have done the same for you—when you were with Cam…I was so…jealous," she whispered the last word as if it were scandalous. "When we were in Las Vegas, I thought that we might—"

"I know, Bones."

"And when you seemed disinterested, I was confused. Then…when I realized that you and Cam had resumed a sexual relationship, I was…" She closed her eyes. "Mortified. I was so embarrassed, Booth."

"Oh, Bones. You have no idea how hard it was to control myself that night. When you cleaned me up, and that dress…_God_. I thought maybe it was some sort of cosmic punishment. But I told you before—I don't cheat. And even though what I had with Cam was…casual…I couldn't—when we finally did…I needed it to be right."

They were both silent, contemplating everything that had been exposed.

Booth spoke first. "Okay, enough talking. I believe I have some more investigating to do." He offered Brennan a smile and their eyes locked for a moment.

There was more to say, but it could wait.

"Booth, It's almost six a.m. We should really get some sleep," she protested half-heartedly.

But he could tell by her tone that she didn't really mean it. Well, her tone and the fact that her hands had begun wandering south.

"Oh, come on, Bones—Caroline won't meet with the judge until ten. We've got time for investigations _and _sleep."

While they laughed together, he slid down the bed and kissed her toes. "Hmm...nothing artificial here…moving on…" and he began kissing up her calves.


	8. Chapter 8

Booth woke to find Brennan wrapped around him like a starfish, her breasts pressed against his back and her arm and leg draped over him. He looked at the clock.

9:03. The alarm on his phone was set to go off in seven minutes. It usually annoyed him when he woke before his alarm, but this morning he was ecstatic.

The pale yellow flowers scattered across the sheets made him smile. _You're in Bones's bed. With her wrapped around you. _

He sighed, and thought about the first time he'd slid into her bed last night, trying to rouse her from her nightmare. He hadn't dared dream then that he would ever actually be _invited _to be here with her. _Naked_, he thought gleefully.

He carefully unwrapped her arms and slipped out of bed.

Once in the bathroom, he squeezed some toothpaste on his finger and cleaned his teeth, then swished and spit into the sink.

He regarded himself in the mirror.

All the pain of the past weeks—if he were honest, the past year; he'd felt this way since he'd woken up from that godforsaken coma—seemed a distant memory.

_She changed her mind_. He frowned, as he realized they hadn't actually discussed that yet. She'd tried to explain, but he'd been so eager to _feel _the evidence of her change of heart, that he hadn't wanted to waste time _talking_ about it.

_But she said she was sure. Bones doesn't lie, and she doesn't say things she doesn't mean. You trust her, _he reminded himself. _Don't fuck this up._

While his mind was whirring, he heard her stir in the next room. After a moment she called sleepily, "Booth?"

He stepped out of the bathroom with a grin. "You were expecting someone else?"

She pushed up on her elbows and smiled at him.

"Bones, I hate to scram, but—"

"I know. Caroline will be calling soon."

"I'll go make some coffee," Booth offered.

Brennan pulled on a robe, brushed her teeth and hair, and then ventured into the kitchen.

Booth turned to her and pulled her into his arms.

Brennan stiffened and he pulled back to look her in the eyes. "Bones?"

"I'm just not sure how to do this, Booth. It's so fast."

He felt sick. _Don't overreact, _he warned himself. Choosing his words carefully, he asked, "What are you saying, Bones?" as he released her.

"Oh, Booth—no. I haven't changed my mind. I'm just saying, 'I don't know how to do this.' How do we tell everyone at work? Will we still be allowed to work together? Where will be sleep? Will we spend every night together?"

He looked at the clock. _We really don't have time for this right now._

But he poured them each a cup of coffee and said, "Come sit with me."

Brennan followed him to the couch and they sat, angled toward each other, knees touching.

"Bones…I don't have all the answers. I have just as many questions as you do. But I know _my _answer to the most important one: do I want us to be together? _Yes._ We can figure out all that other stuff." He dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"We can cross that bridge as we arrive at it," she clarified.

He smiled. "Yeah, Bones." He kissed her forehead. "I really have to go. I've got to swing by my place to get a clean suit."

She stood with him and kissed him enthusiastically. "Bones?"

She grinned. "I've been coveting these privileges for a long time."

He groaned and pulled her flush against him. "Bones, you can't just say things like that when I've got to go!" He kissed her, nuzzled her neck, and ran his hands under her robe. "Oh, god, I don't want to leave."

He forced himself to release her. _Deep breaths. Recite some saints. _

He turned for the door.

"Booth?"

"Hmm?" He was still distracted by thoughts of peeling off her robe.

"How _will _we tell everyone about us?"

He was still for a moment, considering. "Maybe we should wait."

"Why?" _Are you ashamed? Afraid I'll change my mind? _she wondered.

"Because…we're all under a lot of stress with this Gravedigger trial, and…well, like you said, we need to figure out how this works before everyone sticks their noses into it." _And I'm afraid of how you'll react to their reactions. What if someone says or does something that spooks you?_

She considered for a moment. "I see…so we just act like nothing has changed?"

He closed the space between them and pulled her close. "It _has _changed, Bones. We just need to get comfortable with this before we announce it."

His phone rang. "Booth," he barked into it. "Okay, Caroline…yeah, I overslept a little, but I'm-….okay, I'll be there-…" He looked at his watch. "Half and hour. Yeah." He snapped his phone closed.

He turned back to Brennan. "I meant everything I said last night. I'm not having doubts. We just have to get through this trial." He gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. "I'll see you in a little while. Caroline's going to have my head on a platter if I'm not there in half an hour."

After Booth left, Brennan retrieved her coffee and moved into the bedroom to get dressed.

Alone with her thoughts, she began worrying. Booth had said that he didn't have any doubts, but the look in his eyes…he looked wary of her. Like he was afraid she was going to hop on a plane to Peru if he said the wrong thing. She sighed.

_Is that why he wants to keep this a secret?_ She realized that he had a mountain of evidence to support his suspicions that she might run, but only a few words spoken during an emotionally intense moment to reassure him that she wouldn't.

_Well, they say 'actions speak louder than words.' I'll simply demonstrate to him that I'm certain. I won't abandon him again. _Now she just had to prove it to him.


	9. Chapter 9

Booth entered the lab, whistling to himself. He glanced towards Brennan's office and his face nearly split into a grin.

_Shit. You are never going to keep this a secret. Get it together!_

Suppressing his smile, he pressed his lips into a grim line.

When Cam looked up from her desk, she saw Booth grimacing and wondered what was going on.

"Seeley?"

"Camille?" he countered.

She just looked at him.

"Bones sent me a text saying that the details of Terrence Gilroy's murder are different from all of the other Gravedigger cases we know about."

"Yep." She continued to stare at him. "Why are you in here? Don't you usually go to Brennan for these updates?"

Booth shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

"What happened? Are you two fighting? Because if we're going to win this case, we all need to be at the top of our game, and you know how it is when you two argue."

"Me and Bones are fine, Cam."

"Why wouldn't we be fine?" Brennan's cool voice startled Booth.

Cam watched the two of them carefully avoiding each other's gaze.

"Riiiight. Everything is fine. Clearly." She paused and regarded them sternly. "You two better figure this out or Caroline's going to have a fit. I'm just saying."

Cam walked out of the autopsy suite and Booth called after her, "Everything is fine!"

Once Cam was out of sight, Booth grabbed Brennan's hand and drew her deeper into the room. He held onto her hand, but didn't move any closer. "We are fine, right?"

She smiled at him warmly, "Yes, Booth. I just—I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on this case. I keep thinking about—"

"Don't say it! I'm having a hard enough time as it is—"

They heard footsteps and quickly separated.

Hodgins walked into the room, but he was looking back over his shoulder as he entered, so he didn't see them leap apart. "Cam, I need you to—" he stopped short. He took in the tension vibrating between Booth and Brennan, and asked, "Where's Cam?"

Booth answered curtly, "She just left."

"Oooh-kay. Any idea where she went?"

Booth threw him an annoyed glance, and Brennan didn't meet either man's eyes.

"Alright, alright," Hodgins mumbled as he backed out of the room.

oOo

"Angie! Have you talked to Brennan today?"

"Ummmm…" Angela looked up distractedly from her computer. "What?"

Impatiently, Hodgins repeated, "Have you talked to Brennan today?"

"Yeah, for a few minutes. Apparently Terrence Gilroy's abduction was different from—" She stopped when she registered the look on his face. "What?"

"I just went to talk to Cam and I walked in on Booth and Brennan in the autopsy suite and they were acting…weird."

Angela smiled hopefully, "Good weird? Do you think they finally—"

"Noooooo. Bad weird. Something is going on with them, and I don't think it's good."

"Well, you know Brennan. She gets upset about things and holds it in, and then Booth pushes her to deal with it and they fight…this trial…" she sighed heavily and looked at him sadly.

"Yeah, I know…I know…" He put his hands on her shoulders, then ran them down her arms and laced their fingers together.

"We should just…give them some time. I'll try to talk to Brennan about it later."

"Okay, babe," Hodgins said as he pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her. "Okay."

oOo

Booth was sitting at his desk, reviewing his notes on the Gilroy murder in preparation for his testimony the next day when a very angry prosecutor stormed into his office.

"Seeley Booth!"

He looked up from his file, "What's wrong, Caroline?"

"What's wrong? What's _wrong_? Are you really asking me that question?"

Worried that someone had noticed that he and Bones were acting strangely and shared their suspicions with Caroline, he was careful to keep his face blank.

"Ummm…is this a trick question?"

"Terrence Gilroy? I was just at the lab and they said that everything is different! No stun gun, he was conscious, he had defensive wounds and injuries that suggest strangulation, and you ask me _'what's wrong?'_" she huffed.

"And _then_," she continued, "I find out that you and your lady scientist are fighting?"

Booth opened his mouth to argue, but Caroline silenced him with a glare.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Dr. Brennan, _cheri_, but you better fix it. And you _better _be prepared when you take the stand tomorrow," and with that, Caroline turned on her heel and stalked out if his office.

_Bones and I are fighting? _he thought.

He flipped open his phone and held down the number two until it started to ring.

"Brennan."

"Bones, is everything…I mean, you're not mad at me, right?"

"Booth, what are you talking about?"

"Caroline was just here. She said that you and I are fighting and told me to fix it. So…we're not fighting?"

"Booth, if I were angry with you, I would tell you."

_Of course she would, _he thought, _Bones doesn't hold that kind of stuff in._

"Okay, I was just calling to make sure we're good."

"Yes. Caroline was here in the lab a short while ago. Cam and I briefed her on our findings with regards to Terrence Gilroy, and she spoke with Hodgins about the results of his analysis of the soil samples."

"Okay. I'll…see you tonight?"

"Mmm-hmm. If you'll pick up dinner, I'll go home to pick up clothing and toiletries and meet you at your apartment at seven."

Booth was taken aback by how casually she threw that out there.

_See you at your place at seven._

_Okay, dear. _

"Booth? Are you still there?"

He shook his head. "Um, yeah, Bones. Sounds good. I'll see you at seven." He smiled as he closed his phone.

oOo

Just before six, as Brennan was gathering her things to leave the lab, Angela entered her office and sat down.

"Sweetie…"

Brennan looked up. "Yes, Angela?"

"I've waited all day for you to come and talk to me, but I don't want to leave this until tomorrow, so I'm just going to ask."

Brennan silently turned and resumed packing her bag, heart beating wildly. _Angela suspects. We should have known we wouldn't be able to hide it for long._

"What's going on with you an Booth?"

"What do you mean?" Brennan asked with forced casualness.

"I know you two are fighting. Hodgins said when he walked in on you two in Cam's office earlier, you wouldn't even look at each other. And Cam said Booth was acting weird, too. He went to her for an update on the case this morning. Don't _you_ usually do that?"

Brennan fought the urge to laugh. She arranged her features into a somber expression before turning around. "Everything is fine, Angela. I'll see you tomorrow." She swept out of the room, careful to avoid Angela's eyes for fear of revealing too much.

Angela sighed and watched her go, but didn't try to catch her. Brennan would talk when she was ready.

Hodgins intercepted her on the way back to her office. "So?" he asked. "Did you talk to Brennan?"

"Yeah. You were right. There is definitely something going on with them, and I don't think it's good. She totally closed down. But…they'll work it out. She'll talk when she's ready. Maybe when the trial is over…"

oOo

When Brennan arrived at Booth's apartment, the door was slightly ajar. She pushed it open and found him with his back to her, in a pair of soft looking gray sweatpants, his torso bare.

She closed the door and he turned around. As she dropped her bags, he walked toward her, and pulled her to his chest. He kissed her hair, and she tucked her head into his neck.

When her shoulders began to shake, he fought the urge to panic. "What's wrong, Bones?"

He pulled back to meet her eyes, expecting tears.

But she was laughing.

"What's so funny?"

She kissed him playfully, and said, "Everyone at the lab knows we're hiding something."

"They think we're sleeping together?"

"No," she laughed. "They think we're fighting."


	10. Chapter 10

After dinner had been eaten and cleaned up, Booth opened the Gilroy file again, and covered the coffee table with papers.

Watching him from the kitchen, Brennan reflected that despite the rapid change in their relationship status, everything felt much the same between them. They still shared easy conversation, and it was almost like every other night they had eaten a meal together except…now they were allowed to _touch._

She smiled as she watched him sigh and lean against the back of the couch, scrubbing his hands over his face,

Abruptly, he froze, and then turned to look at Brennan.

"Bones, are you spying on me?"

She smiled shyly. "I find that I enjoy the fact that I can watch you openly now."

He raised his eyebrows. "You were watching me sneakily before?"

She blushed.

He held out his hand to her. "C'mere, Bones."

Taking his hand, she settled herself on his lap, placing her knees on either side of his thighs.

As he began unbuttoning her blouse, she ran her hands over his bare chest and murmured, "I wish you hadn't changed out of your suit."

Again, his eyebrows shot up. "Wh-what?"

"Last Christmas at the lab—" she stopped.

He swallowed and shifted his hips under her. Focusing the wall behind her he said, "Oh, I remember."

"I very much enjoyed undressing you. I've been wanting to do that again."

His eyes snapped to hers. She saw his pupils dilate and heard his breath quicken.

He dropped her blouse on the floor and unfastened her pants.

Then he smirked, "'Collecting evidence,' huh?"

Her bra landed on top of the television.

"I've thought about that day many times while I—"

"Don't! Don't finish that sentence, or this is going to be over really quick."

"Booth it's a perfectly natural—"

"Stop."

Suddenly she was on her back and he was over her. He sat back on his heels and peeled off her socks and pants.

He shucked his sweatpants and covered her body with his.

"Tomorrow," he grunted, "I'll leave the suit on."

oOo

Later, lying in bed together he groaned, "You're going to be the death of me, woman."

She glared at him.

"Ma'am?"

"Bones is fine," she sniffed.

She pressed a kiss to his clavicle and then said, "You haven't asked me, Booth. You must be curious."

He tensed slightly.

She raised her head from his chest to look him in the eye. "Are you afraid if we have this conversation, you'll frighten me away?"

"Bones, we don't have to talk about it. Just that fact that you're here is enough. I don't need an explanation." He looked away.

"I thought perhaps if you understood my reasoning, it might assuage your fears."

"My fears?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Booth. I promise." She was silent until he met her eyes again. "I'm not going to change my mind."

"Bones, I never said—"

"We don't say a lot of things. This can't be one of those things."

His chest swelled with a deep breath. "Okay."

They both sat up and leaned against the headboard, shoulders touching. She took his left hand in her right.

"Before we started working together, I was very…careful when it came to interpersonal relationships, both in my private and professional lives. The only real friend I had was Angela, but I hadn't known her for very long when we met for the first time. Outside of that I had colleagues, acquaintances, and sexual partners, but no one I actually trusted."

She snuck a sideways glance at him. He looked apprehensive.

"From the beginning, I opened myself up to you, metaphorically speaking, more than anyone I had ever known, and when we fought and it ended—I was surprised by how painful it was. It wasn't rational. I barely even knew you, but…"

"I felt it, too, " he whispered.

She nodded and fixed her eyes on their joined hands.

"So—" her voice broke. Their eyes met briefly, and then she leaned her head against his shoulder. After a moment she continued, "When you asked me to help with the Cleo Eller case, I was terrified. The first time it was so—" her voice faltered. "I didn't think I could survive that again. But somehow I allowed myself to be drawn in, and in the course of the last five years…I realized that you were the center of my world. My best friend, and the person I trust."

He felt a tear slide down his chest. "Bones—"

"No," she sniffed. "Let me finish. When you asked if we could try to be together I was afraid…as painful as it was after the Arrington case, I knew that I wouldn't survive it if I lost you now. I thought if I could protect our partnership, that would be enough. But last night what you said…that I was destroying you…"

"Oh, Bones, no. No." He cupped her cheek and turned her face to his. "Not you. It was never your fault. "

"I realized that I was going to lose you anyway."

He pulled her down onto the mattress with him, spooning against her back.

oOo

Booth woke with a start a few hours later to find himself alone in his bed. Raising himself on his elbows, he called, "Bones?"

He heard the toilet flush, then the water running in the bathroom. He exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and collapsed onto the mattress.

Brennan came out of the bathroom, wearing one of his T-shirts. She climbed back into bed with him and rested her head on his chest as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders.

She traced circles on his chest with her fingertips.

His voice startled her. "I _was_ afraid." He paused. "Look at me, Bones." She rested her chin on his chest and met his eyes. "I was afraid, but I'm not anymore. I trust you."

He pushed her onto her back and rolled on top of her. Smoothing her hair back from her face and kissing her, he repeated, "I trust you."


	11. Chapter 11

After Brennan fell asleep, Booth lay awake for a long time. He turned to look at Brennan, curled on her side with her hands tucked beneath her cheek, and reflected on the past 36 hours. Two days ago he had been hopelessly in love with her in every sense of the word: he was in her thrall and he believed that there was no chance of her ever accepting or returning that love. But now…

Well, he knew she hadn't actually said the word "love," but the way she looked at him and touched him, even the way she had opened up to him, were all ways of loving. So far, things had been surprisingly…easy.

He felt like they were existing is some kind of bubble that separated _this_ from the outside world, from their work. Despite the strain they were all feeling from Taffet's trial—or maybe because of it—the happiness he and Brennan had found in one another away from work felt magnified somehow. And unreal.

He reflected on the last thing he'd said to her last night: _"I was afraid before, but I'm not anymore. I trust you." _It was true, he did trust her not to run away. He believed that she was in this, and that she would talk to him if she were scared or overwhelmed or having doubts.

But he was still afraid.

Afraid that once everyone knew it might change their status as work. _Will the FBI still let us work together? If not, will she be satisfied if she has to stay in the lab?_

Afraid that when they got through the "honeymoon" phase, and had to reconcile their very different world views that things would fall apart. _Stop being such a pessimist. You both came into this with your eyes open. You knew about all of those differences before. You can figure this out._

Afraid that he might wake up and find that it had all been a dream. Again.

oOo

Brennan woke to the sound of a thunderous crash and Booth swearing loudly. She sat up in bed a rubbed her eyes. Through the bedroom door she saw a tray, two glasses of orange juice, dishes, eggs, and fruit spilled across the floor.

He looked up at her with chagrin. "Mmmm…sorry, Bones. I was trying to surprise you with breakfast in bed," he said sheepishly.

She smiled. "I'm not sure how you excelled at being a sniper, Booth, if you are unable even to sneak into your own bedroom," she teased him.

"Well, what can I say? Thinking of you in my bed? _Very _distracting. I'll just clean this up and…see if I've got any more food in the kitchen. It's been a while since I went to the grocery store. You don't by any chance eat Pop-Tarts, do you?" he asked hopefully.

She smiled at him, but didn't answer as she went into the bathroom. When she emerged from the shower, she found the living room floor clean, a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, and a note that Booth would be right back.

She was loading the dishwasher when Booth returned with pastries and fresh fruit from the bakery down the street.

"Bo-ones! I did _not_ leave those for you to do!"

"Booth, you never objected to me helping clean up after meals _before_ we began a sexual relationship."

"_Romantic _relationship. Not sexual. Romantic. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that's one aspect of what we're doing now, but sex? Is _not _the defining characteristic."

He put down the bag of food, removed her hands from the sink and dried them. "And this is not you cleaning up after a meal. This is you cleaning up my failed romantic gesture. Come sit with me and have a pastry. I got chocolate," he finished in a sing-song voice.

"Chocolate pastries for breakfast? How do you manage to maintain your physique with that kind of diet?"

"Well, I don't have pastries for breakfast _every _day, but since I dumped all of the food in the house on the floor, we'll have to make do for today."

She silently regarded her pastry for a moment and then asked, "What _would_ you consider to be the defining characteristic of our relationship?"

Booth looked at her in surprise, but her eyes were fixed on her food. In a moment of impulsivity that first night they were together, he'd blurted out that he loved her. He had carefully avoided saying it again, because he was trying to slow things down a little. Give her time to adjust. _Riiiight. By jumping into her bed seconds after confessing your love. What the hell do you tell her now? How much is too much?_

When he didn't answer after several seconds, Brennan looked up at him. He seemed panicked.

When she finally met his eyes, he could see that she looked worried, and he realized that he'd been completely silent for what felt like an eternity since she'd spoken.

_Honesty is the best policy, _he decided. He cleared his throat. "Love."

She continued to regard him steadily. She was surprised at the effect hearing that word from his lips had on her. She felt flushed and nervous and unutterably happy.

After a moment she asked, "What time do you have to be in court?"

He wasn't sure what to make of the fact that she changed the subject so abruptly, and her expression gave nothing away.

"Oh. Ummm…I testify at 10:30, but Caroline wants me to meet her at the Hoover at 9:00 to go over everything one more time. I need to leave in," he glanced at his phone, "forty-five minutes."

She stood up and took his hand. "I'm not really hungry any more," she said as she led him to the bedroom.

When she pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him he captured her hands with on of his own and held them to his chest. "Bones, wait…"

"I'd rather not."

She began rubbing against him, and despite the fact that he was afraid that this was just an attempt to avoid talking about _them_, his body was responding to her against his will.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then rolled over so that he was on top of her. "Bones, wait—We need to-This can't be just-" She had hooked her ankles together behind his back and the way she was writhing underneath him was making it very difficult for him to stay focused, despite the fact that they were still clothed.

Her fingers lifted the hem of his t-shirt and she started running her hands all over his skin. When she lifted up and kissed him, he finally came to his senses. He unhooked her legs, stood up, and crossed the room.

When he turned to face her, she looked hurt. "Booth, I…what's wrong?"

He tried to calm his breathing, and rein in his confusion. _She said she was in this. Is this just sex to her after all? _He thought about the conversations they'd had in bed the last two nights, lying tangled together, naked and sweaty. _No, you don't actually believe that. So what the hell is going on here? Why did she immediately change the subject the second you said the word _love_?_

"I just need to—" he paused, searching for the right words, "Bones, what is this? If you don't want to talk about what's going on between us, then why did you ask? This isn't-" he closed his eyes and gulped a breath. "This can't just be sex," he croaked.

Whereas a moment ago she'd been confused and a little hurt at his refusal of her advances, she suddenly realized how their exchange over the last few minutes looked to him. _He thinks I'm avoiding the subject._

She sat up and her face softened, "Booth…what you said before…I'm not very skilled at expressing my emotions verbally. I'm not…this isn't avoidance. I feel…" she looked down at her hands, "I feel the same way. I thought perhaps I could show you." She cursed herself for stumbling over the words. Normally she was so articulate, but this was unfamiliar ground, and it was too important. She looked up at him again. "I can understand why it's hard for you to trust me in this matter, but I promise you, Booth, I know what we're doing. I am aware of the ramifications of my choices. You don't have to be careful with your words. Just be honest with me."

He looked at her, dumbfounded. _God, you are an idiot, _he berated himself. _Relax._ _Stop second-guessing everything._

And then he pounced.

oOo

"Oh, God," Booth said as he kissed Brennan again. "I _really_ wish I could just stay here in bed with you, but I'm barely going to make it on time as it is." He untangled their limbs and began pulling out clothes: boxers, socks, shirt, suit, tie.

"Booth?"

"Mmmmm?" he asked distractedly as he buttoned his shirt.

"I'd like a clarification."

"About what?"

"You said that the fact that we're having sex is not the defining characteristic in our relationship now."

"And I stand by that."

"But the only change in our behavior is that we are now engaging in sex. Everything else seems…unchanged."

He stopped halfway through putting on his belt. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, of course not. But I fail to see how you can argue that sex is not what defines the change in our relationship."

He sighed and tied his tie. She stood up and smoothed it.

He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Sex is the most obvious change in our relationship, but not the most important. Sex is just one way of connecting. I think the real issue is that what we had before was so much more than we ever admitted, not that what we have now is less."

She frowned slightly, and then responded, "Perhaps. I will give your position consideration and we can discuss this further tonight."

He pulled on his coat and kissed her softly.

She looked down and said in a quiet voice, "This is the first time I can ever remember dreading going to the lab." She raised her eyes. "What if she wins?"

"I don't know, Bones." He was torn between wanting to comfort her and the fact that he was already running late.

Brennan glanced at the clock and said, "I'm okay, Booth. I'll see you at lunch?" She steered him towards the front door.

"Yeah, I'll give you a call when I finish in court. Hey." He made eye contact. "We'll get through this, whatever happens."

One more kiss and he was out the door. As it closed behind him, she sighed and hugged herself, envying his ability to be so optimistic.


	12. Chapter 12

Brennan took her time getting ready to go to the lab, distracted by thoughts of Booth, the new developments in their relationship, and the conversation they'd had over breakfast.

_What would you consider to be the defining characteristic of our relationship?_

_Love._

She'd been surprised at how pleased she felt when he said that. Love. It was very unsettling.

She tried to remember the last time someone had said, "I love you, " to her and meant it.

She'd had foster parents tell her that they loved her. She shuddered and her stomach clenched as she pictured Mr. Higgins looming over her. In some ways the loss of control over emotions now was as frightening as the lack of control over her body had been then.

She shook her head to banish those thoughts.

When she'd became sexually active in college, a few of her partners had claimed to love her, but despite her naiveté in both sexual and emotional matters, she'd been able to recognize those declarations for what they were: nothing more than an attempt to hasten sexual activity.

She quickly learned to make her expectations clear. She wasn't interested in their _love_, she simply required a physical connection and sexual release.

At first, she attempted to form sexual relationships with colleagues with whom she could converse intelligently as well, but soon learned that many men were unable to separate the sexual from the professional. Despite her own practical approach to sex, she discovered the detrimental effect that her sexual activity could have on her professional reputation. And so she learned to choose her sexual partners from outside of her professional circle.

But with Booth…things were different. She thought back to their first case, the night that they drank tequila shots and nearly engaged in intercourse.

From the moment he walked into her classroom as American University, her physical response to him was stronger than she had ever experienced. She had shared varying levels of sexual rapport with her previous sexual partners, but her response to Booth was exponentially higher than she'd ever felt before.

When he leaned his head into his hand, gave her that boyish smile and told her she was fired, she'd immediately flushed with warmth at the thought that she could finally investigate whether her predictions regarding their sexual compatibility were correct. And so she'd leaned in and propositioned him.

Then, as they stood in the rain waiting for a cab, he'd confessed his gambling problem and told her _"I think this is going somewhere." _

It frightened her. His statement hadn't lessened her desire for him. On the contrary, it had actually increased it. Kissing him was incredible, almost overwhelming. She'd felt as if every nerve ending in her body had been sensitized and attuned to him. Suddenly the thought of exploring what it meant to be "going somewhere" with him seemed very appealing, and that is what had made her change her mind so abruptly.

For years she had satisfied her physical needs while carefully keeping her emotions under control and completely separate. This man, in a few short days, had threatened her sense of control and shaken the foundation of her fundamental beliefs with regard to personal interactions. The fact that she allowed her judgment to be so compromised that she actually struck him in anger mortified her.

And the hurt that she felt when they parted ways had confused her even more. In the aftermath of the Arrington case, she had determined that clearly, this man was a detriment to her objectivity.

Even now she acknowledged that personal relationships compromise objectivity. But she was learning that opening oneself up to personal relationships also provided certain benefits that, while intangible, were meaningful. It was a delicate balancing act.

She marveled that most people seem to understand this intuitively, and instinctively knew how to navigate interpersonal interactions with seemingly little effort.

She couldn't blame her deficiencies in this area entirely on her parents' abandonment. She may not have a detailed memory of her childhood, but she remembered enough to know that she had _always_ been awkward. Even as a small child she felt like an outsider amongst her peers. Only at home, with her parents and her brother, had she ever felt truly safe and accepted.

She hadn't fully appreciated the safe haven her family provided until she entered the foster system. Some of her foster homes were not unpleasant, but even in those circumstances, she felt constantly adrift and alone. The unpleasant foster situations only exacerbated her feelings of isolation and her reluctance to trust others.

She sighed. She normally didn't engage in this kind of introspection, because it seemed useless to rehash the past and agonize over _feelings_ and events she couldn't change.

But she was beginning to realize that if this relationship with Booth were to be successful, then she would have to commit to it fully; and that meant that, at some point, she was going to have to be willing to reveal more of herself and her past to him.

She wasn't worried that his opinion of her might change if he knew her carefully guarded secrets. He had proven to her over the last five years that she could depend on him, and she believed that his affection would not waver over sordid events from her past, some of which were beyond her control.

But she knew it would hurt him to hear some of her secrets. She remembered the way it felt, examining his x-rays and learning the abuse he had suffered as a soldier. And then later, when he'd revealed a bit more of his past. _My dad drank. _It was painful in a way she had never experienced before.

All of this introspection was making her weary.

She looked at the time and realized that she was going to be late if she didn't hurry. Resolving to put all of this out of her mind for the moment, she grabbed her bags and hurried out the door.

oOo

Angela was waiting in Brennan's office when she arrived.

"Sweetie!"

"Yes, Angela?" Brennan busied herself unpacking her bag, wondering if Angela were going to prod about Booth again.

"Sweetie, look at me, please."

Reluctantly, Brennan turned and faced her friend.

"I know you're having a hard time with this case. We all are. Hodgins said he still has nightmares about being buried with you, and that he's been having them more often since this case started. I know that it's hard, but Booth is just trying to—"

"Angela, everything is _fine _between me and Booth," Brennan interrupted.

Angela was silent, just looking at her. Finally, she stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. "Bren, you can't—" Angela stopped short. She sniffed Brennan's shoulder, then her hair. She leaned back, holding Brennan at arms length. "Why do you smell like Booth?"

"What?" A guilty look crossed Brennan's face.

"No—why do you _reek _of Booth?"

Brennan cursed herself for using Booth's body wash and shampoo instead of her own this morning. She had actually brought her own, but in a moment of foolish sentimentality, she'd used his instead.

"Angela, I—"

"Oh. My. God. You and Booth aren't _fighting_, you're—" Angela's voice grew in volume and pitch as she spoke.

"Angela!" Brennan interrupted.

Brennan closed her office door and turned around, no longer attempting to school her features. A grin split across her face as she turned back to her friend, who was frozen in shock.

"What did you-? When did this—How did—?" Angels spluttered.

"Angela, please. Sit down."

Both women sat on the sofa. Angela opened her mouth as if to speak, and then closed it again several times.

After a moment of silence, Brennan spoke. "The day that Caroline dropped the charges against Taffet for kidnapping me and Hodgins. When Booth found out, he asked Caroline to drop his charges, too, and then he came to my apartment to tell me, and to talk about the case, and…in retrospect, I think he came to check on me." She smiled at the thought. "He had several beers while he was there, and I was concerned about him driving while intoxicated, so I insisted that the logical thing to do would be for him to sleep in my guest room."

Brennan stopped talking for a moment and Angela said, "And?"

Brennan took a deep breath. "And I…" she looked away. "I don't feel comfortable going into details, but…yes. We're…together. I spent the night at his apartment last night."

"Sweetie, are you sure about this?"

Surprised, Brennan looked up at her friend. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Because, Bren, he's…he's totally in love with you. You know that, right? You know this can't be just physical? I mean, I know you. You have 'sexual partners,' not boyfriends."

"Well, I hardly think Booth qualifies as a _boy_, but yes. I'm…I'm in a relationship with Booth."

"So why didn't you guys tell anyone?"

"I'm not certain. Booth said we should wait until the trial is over."

A look Brennan couldn't quite place crossed Angela's face, and she hurriedly answered, "I get it, Sweetie. He just wanted a little time with you all to himself before everyone started sticking their noses into your relationship."

"Yes," Brennan frowned. "He said something to that effect."

"So you're…You're happy? Do you see a future with Booth?"

"Oh, Ange…yes, I'm happy. And even before this new development, I had trouble imagining a future _without_ Booth. But things have changed so rapidly…"

"Bren," Angela warned. "You're not consulting your travel agent are you?"

Brennan didn't pretend to misunderstand. "No," she chuckled softly. "No. I'm not going anywhere." She paused. "But please don't tell anyone else. And give me the opportunity to tell Booth you know before you accost him."

Angela smiled widely before leaning in and asking, "So? Is he as fantastic in bed as I imagine?"


	13. Chapter 13

Booth exited the courtroom, rolling his shoulders to try and relieve some of the tension knotted there as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to call Bones about meeting for lunch. _Maybe we'll go back to my place for lunch, _he thought hopefully. He could certainly use a distraction from the way his testimony had gone.

Before he could dial, Max approached. "You know that Taffet's playing you, right?"

"We're fine, Max," Booth insisted, as much to himself as to Max.

"No, she's got you all on defense."

"We got the boy."

"That's 'cause she wanted you to." That one struck a nerve.

Booth thought about Bones' speculation about why Taffet offered them the clue that led to finding Terrence Gilroy.

"Every psycho takes one step too far and hangs himself."

"Not before a lot of innocent people get hurt. I'll see you later."

Booth narrowed his eyes at Max. He watched Max walk away, fitting the pieces together.

He sighed and flipped his phone open again. "Hey, Bones…yeah, something came up that I've got to check out, so I'll have to skip lunch…" _So much for a nooner, _he grumbled to himself. "No, it's fine. Nothing to worry about. Yeah, I'll—I'll call you this evening…Mm-hmm." He chose his words carefully, aware that he was standing in the middle of the courthouse hallway, "Are we going to…have dinner together tonight? Okay…yeah. Bye, Bones." As he flipped his phone shut, he cursed Max.

oOo

As they entered Brennan's apartment that evening she asked, "He tried to kill her?"

Booth dropped his overnight bag on the floor and said, "He had a rifle pointed right at her," holding an imaginary rifle in he hands, "so you do the math."

"Why? Why would he do that?"

"Well, to protect you." He was standing less than two feet from her and he wasn't sure if he should try to hold her or give her some space. He inched forward. "And a career criminal like Max, obviously doesn't trust the legal system."

She reached out and grabbed his hand, "I'm sorry, Booth." Her eyes were focused on the floor. "I wish he were different."

"Yeah, me too. You know he socked me in the eye, too."

She raised her eyes and examined the slight bruising near his left eye. She stepped toward him and brushed her lips across it.

Her phone rang and she answered it. "Brennan."

Booth watched her intently as she said, "What? No, Dad!" She looked extremely agitated. "No, I don't want you to kill people for me. Just buy me a sweater like a regular dad."

Booth felt his anger at Max rising. "Leave her alone, Max!" he yelled into the phone.

He would never admit it to Bones, but if felt good to hit Max. He knew that everything Max had done to Bones had been in an effort to protect her, but it still pissed him off when he thought about how hurt she was every time he popped in and out of her life. The look on her face the day Max had driven off with Russ from the seminary haunted him for weeks after. What he really wanted to do was beat him to a bloody fucking pulp.

"Booth says you're not getting out until after the trial is over. I have to go…Goodbye, Dad." She ended the call and hurled the phone at the sofa where it landed with a _whump._

Booth unclenched his fists and touched her chin. "Look, I'm sorry, Bones. I'm sure this is the last thing you wanna deal with."

"Yeah," she whispered. She stepped toward him and buried her face in his neck. "A part of me wishes he'd done it," she murmured against his skin.

He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "Not the good part. Let's just keep our eye on the ball," he said gently.

"Is this the reason you had to cancel lunch?"

"Yeah."

"I have to admit, I was very disappointed about that." She began loosening his tie. "I was hoping we could have lunch at your place today."

He swallowed hard.

"I see you kept your suit on." The tone in her voice banished everything else from his mind. After she slipped his tie off, she slowly pushed his jacket off of his shoulders, circling around behind him to pull it off.

_Just like that day in the lab,_ he thought. Suddenly it felt a lot like Christmas.

oOo

They were eating dinner quietly, each absorbed in their own thoughts when Booth asked, "So, any news about the boy?"

Brennan launched into a technical explanation that he _mostly _understood, the upshot of which was that the boy was killed by someone Taffet's size.

"The kid, he put up a good fight?"

"There's evidence of strong resistance, yes." She took another bite and chewed thoughtfully.

"Yeah, at least he didn't go easy." He reached behind him and grabbed a photo of himself with his son. "Parker, he'd do the same thing. Probably bite her ear off and run."

"Wait, he'd bite her?"

"Yeah. Ten-year-olds—it's kinda their thing. To bite…"

She jumped up from the table. "I have to get back to the lab."

He grabbed her arm. "Bones, no! It's almost nine o'clock. No one else is even there. What's so important?"

"There might be evidence in his teeth. If he bit Taffet, there could be something embedded between the teeth or under the gum line that could implicate her. This could be the proof we need." She sounded a bit manic.

"Wait wait wait…Shhh…just wait." He folded her into his arms. "This can wait until morning." She was stiff in his arms at first, but after a moment he felt her relax by degrees. When she was almost limp against him he put his hands on her shoulders and held her at arm's length. "Please, sit down and eat. We'll go to bed soon. You can get on this bright and early tomorrow."

She looked like she was going to argue, but reluctantly nodded. She sat back down and though Booth resumed eating, Brennan just pushed her food back and forth into little piles.

"Bones?" he asked after several minutes during which she didn't take a single bite, just continued to play with her food.

She didn't look at him. "It was when she took you."

He was silent, waiting for her to continue.

"That was when I realized that I…that my feelings for you were…" she looked up at him. "I was so scared."

He reached for her hand and covered it with his own. "I told myself that if we saved you, I'd tell you. I _promised _myself. And when you got into the helicopter, and I actually felt you, alive and breathing in my arms…I was scared then, too, but it was because…it was hard enough to lose you as my partner, my friend, I thought if we…I wasn't sure I could have handled it if we were _more_."

He took a sip of water and choked on it. "Bones, we could play 'what if' 'til the cows come home. We have dangerous jobs. We've…cared…about each other more than we've been willing to admit for a long time. But we're in this now. Right?"

She looked like she was trying to hold back tears, but she nodded. "Yes," she whispered.

"Then we don't have to keep doing this. There were a thousand times I wanted to kiss you, to tell you I wanted you, to hold you, touch you…but I didn't. And maybe that's just the way this had to go. We're both ready now." He tugged her hand and pulled her around the table and into his lap. "We're here _now_. We can worry about Taffet tomorrow. We don't need to worry about the past anymore at all." He was quiet as he watched her considering his words while she traced the edge of his collarbone with her fingers.

Finally, she lifted her eyes to his. "I love you, Booth," she whispered.

Suddenly he felt tears pricking his eyes and his heart thunked so loudly in his chest he was afraid it might have stopped. He hadn't expected to hear those words from her so soon. Possibly ever.

"Oh, Bones…" He kissed her, softly.

He stood up and led her to the bedroom, then pulled him down next to him on the mattress. He lay down in his back and she curled up next to him with her head on his chest. When she snuck a hand under his t-shirt, he captured it. "No, Bones. Not yet. I just want to lie here with you for a minute."

"Booth?"

"Yeah?"

"I know the past isn't important. I know we can't change it, but I thought perhaps if you knew…if I told you how many times and how long I wanted to…be with you…maybe that would help you trust me."

"Bones, I told you: I _do _trust you. Hey, look at me." When she raised her head he continued, "I sill have a lot of questions. I don't know how this is going to work, exactly, but, dammnit, Sweets was right. We've been so much more to each other than partners for a long time. It's just that we've finally acknowledged it, is all."

"But sometimes it seems like you're…holding back. When we came home this evening and we were talking about Max, you looked like you wanted to hold me, but you didn't. I'm not going to run away because you invade my personal space, Booth." She snorted, "You've been doing that for years."

He laughed, "I know that, Bones. But what I want is to support you and help you. I just wasn't sure what you needed from me right then. It's the same with any new relationship. You have to learn when the other person needs space and when they need a hug. "

Her hands began wandering again. "And do you need space now?" she asked teasingly.

He turned on his side and hooked her leg over his hip, while he began kissing her neck. "Nope. In fact, you're still a little too far away," he said between kisses.


	14. Chapter 14

"Booth! Booth!"

He woke to Brennan shaking him, and he immediately panicked.

"What's wrong?"

"Angela knows."

"I…what?"

"Angela _knows_."

He was fully awake now, and he realized that she was sitting upright in bed, on her knees next to him. Her eyes were clear and bright, her hair in a neat ponytail. She'd obviously been awake for some time.

He looked at the clock. "Bones? It's almost three am. And…Angela knows what?" He shook his head to clear it of the dream he'd been having.

"Angela knows that we're having sex."

He sat up slowly. "Okaaaaay." She looked distraught. "Again. It's almost three am. You woke me to tell me that you told Angela we're together now?"

"I didn't tell her, Booth. You asked me to keep it a secret. I wouldn't betray you. She…" Brennan looked down at her hands in her lap, as if ashamed. "She guessed. She just knew."

He smiled at her in amusement. "What, she used her magic sex-radar?"

"Her what?—Oh. You're being amusing." But her tone indicated that he was failing. "No, I—yesterday morning I used your bodywash and shampoo, and when Angela hugged me, she said that I 'reeked' of you. That, coupled with our unusual behavior towards one another in the lab…Angela is very intuitive about that sort of thing." She had a small frown between her eyebrows as if she couldn't quite believe she'd admitted that out loud.

"It's okay, Bones."

"I apologize that I neglected to tell you earlier."

He was fairly certain that this was not what was actually bothering her. "It's fine. She's your best friend. It's no big deal."

"And you have a child!" The panic in her voice rose again.

"Yeeess. I do. Um…" his voice dropped to a whisper, "we both knew that already."

"Why do you find this humorous?"

"Well, Bones, you woke me in the middle of the night to tell me your best friend figured out we're together and to inform me that I have a kid. I'm a little…confused. And you seem very worried, so I've decided to go with being amused that you're panicking rather than pissed that you woke me?"

She fixed him with a stern glare. "There are many factors we failed to discuss before we entered into this relationship."

"Um, Bones? We've been discussing everything for five years."

"But as partners! Work partners! Not…sexual partners! Not with the intention of sharing our personal lives!"

He was surprised at how calm he felt. Honestly, since he'd woken up in her bed two days ago he'd been waiting for this. Several times he'd thought she was freaking out when she wasn't and he'd panicked internally. Now that she actually _was_ panicking, he was surprisingly calm. In a way he was relieved. They could work through this and he wouldn't have it hanging over his head anymore.

"Okay, Bones. Let's take a step back here. Deep breaths."

"Do not patronize me, Booth. I'm not a child."

He just looked at her for a moment.

She looked down at her hands and murmured, "I suppose I am _acting_ a bit childish, though."

"Oh, come on, Bones. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Why are you so calm?"

"What?"

"You. Several times since we began having sex you've thought I was panicking and changing my mind and you looked worried. Now that I actually _am _you are perfectly calm?"

"Wait—are you just panicking or are you—_have _you changed your mind?"

"No. No of course not." She gave him a tentative smile, but he could see unshed tears in her eyes.

He covered her hands with one of his. "It's okay to be worried. It's okay to freak out. But…could you do it at a more reasonable hour?"

She finally smiled fully, then wiped her eyes with the sash of her robe. "I woke up and began thinking about our conversation at dinner and I suddenly realized that we hadn't figured anything out. Anything. We didn't prepare or plan, we didn't consider the consequences. We've just been having sex and not talking about any of it."

"Do you want to talk about it now?"

"No."

"Bones? You woke me to tell me you're worried about all this stuff that we haven't talked about and that you don't want to talk about it now?"

"I feel very foolish."

"How about this? Until the trial is over, we'll keep doing what we've been doing: we'll alternate between your place and mine. If you want to tell everyone at work, then we'll tell them. We don't have to tell Parker right away, if you don't want to. You hang out with us all the time anyway. We'll just let it flow when we're with him, and we'll spend those nights apart. And Bones." He touched her chin and held her gaze, "If you need some time alone, just tell me. We don't _have _to spend every night together. I know you're used to having your own space. It's fine."

His matter-of-fact tone was simultaneously soothing and irritating. Clearly he'd given this some consideration, which she found reassuring. But he was being so damn _calm _and _reasonable_ while she was feeling disoriented and overwhelmed.

Her instinct was to tell him she'd like some space _right now, thank you very much_ and send him home. With any other man, she would have done exactly that. _With any other man, I wouldn't have let him stay this long_, she thought. She sighed. Booth wasn't just any man. She couldn't let her fears rule her, allow her to act impulsively and ruin this.

She looked up and realized that he was watching her carefully. "Booth…I—I'm sorry. I shouldn't have woken you. You can—you can go back to sleep." She rose to go into the living room.

"Bones, where are you going?" He was worried. She'd been so worked up, clearly something was bothering her, but now she just looked…deflated.

Without turning around she answered, "To make some tea. I'll be back in a few minutes."

She disappeared through the door and Booth wrestled with himself. _Maybe she just needs some space, and you should leave her alone. _

_Or maybe there's more bothering her that she didn't tell you and it's going to fester and come back to bite you in the ass._

It was decided for him when he heard a crash and a gasp from the next room. He bolted into the kitchen to find shards of a glass littering the counter and floor amongst a puddle of water and Brennan cradling her right hand in a dishtowel.

He mopped up the water, then grabbed the dustpan and methodically cleaned the remnants of her glass while she just sat and watched, both of them silent. When the kettle began to whistle the sound echoed in the silence. Booth turned off the stove and removed the kettle from the eye.

When he'd finished, he sat next to her on the floor, their shoulders touching. "Lemme see it."

Still silent, she offered her hand to him.

"Let's get this cleaned up." He threw her arm over his shoulder and hoisted both of them off the floor, leading her into the guest bathroom. He'd spent enough time in her apartment that he knew where her first aid supplies were kept. The entire time that he swabbed, dried, and bandaged her cut, she was quiet, and she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Do you still want tea?" he asked softly. There was a knot of worry settled in the pit of his stomach.

She shook her head.

"C'mon." She followed him to the couch. He laid down and pulled her down next to him, settling her head on his chest. He grabbed the remote and began flipping through channels. After only a few minutes, he felt her relax, and then fall asleep nestled between him and the back of the couch.

He focused on his breathing, calming his heart rate despite the panic coursing through him. Her quiet acceptance of his help cleaning up the mess and then her cut concerned him. She'd been so…complacent. _But she didn't kick you out. She stayed with you. She's asleep practically on top of you. That's a good sign, right?_ He just wasn't sure.

He mentally reviewed the past few days. That first night had been so tumultuous: first despair, then anger, and then…that first time together had been so tender.

The next morning she'd expressed some uncertainty about _how _this would work between them, but she still insisted that she was in it.

And then that night…he ached a little when he thought of her explanation as to why she'd changed her mind.

She'd wanted this all along. He'd suspected that might be true, but had hardly dared to let himself hope it. When he parsed their words from That Night, he realized she'd said, "_You thought you were protecting me, but you're the one who needs protecting…from me."_

For weeks he'd agonized over what he could have said differently. _You shouldn't have used the word "chance." You shouldn't have presented it as a gamble. She needed it to be a sure thing. _He groaned quietly, and it caused her to stir slightly against him. _Stop doing this. You're here with her now. There's no point to this._

_She even said, "I love you," _he reminded himself. He was still surprised about that. She'd whispered it again as they made love afterward, too. Maybe that was what initiated her meltdown. Well, that compounded by the fact that they barely slept in days, they were keeping a secret from their closest friends (most of them, anyway), and they were in the middle of the most stressful, personal case they'd ever worked.

Not to mention they _hadn't _discussed any of the practicalities associated with their new relationship. Every night when he'd talked to Parker on the phone she'd quietly busied herself doing something else until he finished. She hadn't asked how or when they'd tell his son. But Parker and Bones loved each other. She was great with him. When they did tell him, it was going to be fine.

He knew there were a lot of things that needed to be addressed, but he felt like they needed to get through this trial first. When Taffet was finally behind bars, preferably on death row, they'd be able to relax again. Breathe, even. He wasn't prepared yet to face the possibility of a different outcome to the trial.

The realization that stress and sleep deprivation were likely the cause of Bones' panic tonight eased the tension in his chest. He turned the volume on the television down and turned on his side to face her. They could do this. This was going to work.

But in the back of his mind he couldn't help feeling that it was his responsibility to _make_ it work.


	15. Chapter 15

Booth was in the shower when a waft of cold air followed Brennan into the bathroom.

She slipped through the gap between the curtain and the tile, and said, "May I join you?"

He turned to her and smiled in reply.

She pressed herself against him, reaching around him to make the water hotter.

He gasped, "Are you trying to scald me?" But he was smiling.

She took the soap from him and began lathering his chest, then moved around him to soap his back.

Booth closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of her slippery palms running over his skin. Her touch was so hypnotic that he almost missed her whispered, "I'm sorry."

He turned around and met her eyes, trying to remember if he'd ever actually heard those words from her lips before. "For what?" Bones might be honest and forthright, but she didn't apologize; in his experience, she explained and elaborated.

She continued soaping his body, eyes cast downward when she answered, "For last night. For waking you and worrying you and for being so…irrational."

The way she was touching him now was making it very difficult to focus on her words, so he grabbed her wrists to still her hands. "Hey. Look at me." She raised her eyes. "It's fine. I _want _you to tell me if you're worried or if something's bothering you. I was just teasing about the time last night. For years we've been talking _around _stuff like that. We're more than 'just partners' now."

He cupped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. She responded gently, but eagerly, and he moaned at the feel of her tongue teasing his. Her hands began wandering again.

"Maybe I could make it up to you," she offered with a teasing smile.

His heart swelled at the warmth and tenderness in her gaze. For him. He'd never seen her like this before. He was mildly surprised to find that her affection was even more arousing than her nakedness.

He crowded her against the tile and pressed himself flush against her, reveling in the slip of his soapy body against hers. "I'm sure I can think of something…"

oOo

Booth smoothed his tie, and walked out of Brennan's bedroom to find her packing her bag. "Okay, Bones. You ready for court?"

She could see that he was watching her carefully, and it irked her. "Yes," she replied. "I have a video presentation, which shows the victim sustained rib fractures as well as a fracture of the lateral epicondyle of the left distal."

He hesitated and then said, "What do you say we ease up on the scientific stuff, okay?"

Immediately, all of the warmth they'd shared since their joint shower evaporated. Her expression became shuttered and defensive.

"The science gives us the height of the assailant—162 centimeters, Taffet's height," she insisted in a clinical tone.

Booth regarded her dubiously. "That's—That's good and all…but Taffet's kind of had a field day trashing the whole technical 'gooble-geek' stuff. And the jury seems to like her for it." He approached her and laced his fingers into hers.

She bristled and pulled her hand away. "But those are the facts."

Gently, he said, "It's how you _present _the facts that win or lose a case. Bones, the jury needs to know what that little boy went through." He touched her cheek.

She bit back a scathing retort, and instead said, "I've—I've testified before, Booth." She took a step back, distancing herself literally and metaphorically. "I'll be fine. We—We should go."

He shrugged casually, but there was a heaviness in his chest. "Okay. Hey, Bones…I'm just trying to-"

"It's fine, Booth. We should go."

He followed her, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach because she wouldn't look at him and she was deliberately keeping several paces between them. He sighed, cursing her stubbornness and his own stupidity.

oOo

As Brennan left the witness stand, Booth followed her from the courtroom. He caught her eyes and nodded to an empty conference room. As soon as he door closed behind them, she buried her head in his neck.

"Hey, you did great, Bones."

She didn't answer.

He tightened his arms around her but her body remained rigid against him.

After a moment he spoke again, "Hey, I'm sorry about this morning, Bones, I—"

She lifted her head cut him off with a desperate kiss. When she pulled back, the desolation in her eyes felt like a knife to the gut. "Let's just…can we just go back to your place for lunch?" she asked softly.

He rubbed his hands up and down her arms gently. "Sure, Bones. We can pick up some sandwiches on the way."

oOo

Forty-five minutes later they were lying shoulder to shoulder tangled in his sheets but barely touching when Brennan's phone rang.

"Brennan, " she answered in a clipped voice. "You identified it? What was-? Yes," she glanced at his alarm clock, "twenty minutes." She flipped the phone closed and started gathering her clothes without even glancing at him.

"Bones?"

"Mmmm?" she was searching for her underwear.

"You gonna let me in on the secret?" he teased, testing the waters.

"The-? Oh. Dr. Hodgins found a mite, _Dermatophagoides farinae_, between the boy's teeth. Its stomach sac was full of human epithelial cells. They performed DNA analysis. It's a match for Taffet," she sounded distant, distracted.

Booth collapsed on the bed feeling a mixture of relief that they'd finally found irrefutable evidence to nail Taffet that was admissible, and concern about the distance Bones was maintaining from him. "That's it, Bones." He forced a grin. "Your team did it."

"To be fair, you were the one who gave me the idea to look in his teeth for evidence," she said coolly.

"Well," he pulled her in for a kiss, "I'm part of your team, too."

She looked at him sharply before offering a tight smile. "I have to get to the lab. Hodgins is going to testify this afternoon."

He put his feet on the floor and started rifling through his clothes for his boxers.

"Don't hurry, Booth. I'll just take a cab."

He stood and grabbed her hand. "Bones, you didn't eat anything."

She placed a chaste kiss just to the side of his mouth. "I'm not very hungry. I'll grab a granola bar on my way out. I'll see you this evening?"

"Yeah…Hey! A granola bar is not lunch!"

"Goodbye, Booth," she called over her shoulder as the door swung closed behind her.

Booth fell back against the sheets and tried to pinpoint the difference between their lovemaking in the shower that morning and their most recent interlude. The sex had been fantastic every single time, and, physically, this last time was no exception, but…there was something different. The connection that he usually felt with her, that he'd felt even when they were playing the 'just partners' charade, was missing.

As soon as they'd arrived, she had put the food aside and kissed him frantically, undressing them both in a frenzy. His mind whirling, he suddenly realized that she hadn't met his eyes once the entire time. It was such a stark contrast to her tenderness this morning in the shower that he physically ached just thinking about it.

The sick, worried feeling that had plagued him the night before after she'd fallen asleep next to him on the couch returned.

He started dressing to go back to work, worried because he couldn't fix a problem he didn't understand and wondering how he could get her to talk to him.


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's Note: I know you probably thought I'd completely forgotten about this story, but have no fear. It will be finished, eventually. It's just slow going at the moment._

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Booth arrived at the Jeffersonian to find Bones and drag her home, but she wasn't in her office. He headed to Angela's office and stuck his head in.<p>

"Hey, Booth."

"Ange, do you know where Bones is?"

She looked stricken. "She isn't with you?"

"What? No, I was supposed to pick her up, but she's not in her office. Maybe she's in bone storage?"

"She left, Booth." She looked at her watch, "A little before five. I just assumed that she was meeting you."

Booth didn't even respond. He turned and headed for the parking garage. On his way to her apartment, he called her cell phone three times. Every time it went to voicemail.

The third time was just as he pulled up in front of her building. Her lights were on. She was home.

He was at a loss. His instinct was to confront her. Ask her what the hell was going on and refuse to leave without an explanation.

But he knew Bones better than anyone and the quickest way initiate a complete shutdown was to try and force answers out of her. He sat in his SUV by the curb in front of her apartment for almost half an hour, talking himself out of going up and knocking on her door.

He knew that the right thing to do was to go home and wait for her to come to him, but he wasn't sure if he could face an empty apartment right now. _You trust her not to run_, he reminded himself. _Give her the chance to come to you. _He wasn't playing hard to get, just giving her the opportunity to meet him halfway.

Despite the gnawing feeling in his gut, he pulled away from the curb and headed to a little dive he hadn't frequented in years. He sat at the bar, the blank screen of his cell phone mocking him, for nearly three hours, nursing a beer and shredding paper napkins into confetti.

At nine o'clock, he finally gave it up and decided to go home.

As he entered his apartment, he sighed and started stripping, headed for the shower. By the time he reached his bedroom, he was wearing only his boxers and socks.

He stopped short at the sight of a figure tangled in his sheets. "Bones," he whispered to himself. "Oh, baby."

It wasn't even nine-thirty, but she was curled on her side, deeply asleep.

In his bed.

_Why didn't she call? _he wondered.

Forgoing the shower, he shucked his socks and climbed into bed, wrapping himself around her. She curled into him and sighed in her sleep.

He tried to relax, but his mind wouldn't shut off.

Finally, the steady rhythm of her breathing lulled him into a fitful sleep.

oOo

_Booth was running down an endless hallway. He could hear Bones calling him, crying out in pain, but there were no doors to either side of the corridor. Thighs burning, gasping for air, he just kept trying to run faster. It sounded like she was screaming right in his ear._

He sat bolt upright in bed, covered in a sheen of sweat. Bones was whimpering his name in her sleep. Collapsing next to her in relief, he pulled her into his arms and threw one leg over her hip, pressing himself against her. He rubbed her back in lazy circles and whispered her name softly.

"Booth?"

"Shhh. Just…lie here with me a while." She buried her face in his neck, and they lay quietly pretzeled together.

Finally, Booth spoke up. "I'm sorry, Bones. I shouldn't have said anything this morning about your testimony, I—"

Brennan placed a finger on his lips. "It's fine, Booth. You don't have to apologize."

He didn't answer right away, considering her words, trying to figure out what the problem was if she wasn't mad at him for butting in this morning.

"I'm not angry with you, Booth. I was irritated this morning, but…you were right."

"Well, then…what was going on today?"

"I was being irrational. I should have just talked to you, but…"

"Irrational about what? Please, give me something here, Bones."

She reached over and turned on his bedside lamp, flooding the room with light. "Are you hungry?"

"I—yeah, I guess."

"Come on. I'll make some eggs."

"Bones, it's midnight."

"I didn't have dinner. I suspect you didn't either."

He looked at her worriedly.

"I'm not avoiding the subject, Booth. I'm just hungry. We can talk while we eat."

He nodded reluctantly. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. I feel grimy."

She pulled on his hand to help him up and cupped his face with her hands. She just looked into his eyes for a moment, then kissed him softly. "I missed you tonight."

He swallowed hard, feeling lost and confused. "I was worried about you."

"I know. Go. Shower." She kissed him once more before placing her hands on his shoulders, turning him towards the bathroom and patting him on the bottom.

oOo

Booth stepped under the spray feeling disoriented. He felt like he had emotional whiplash. He wasn't sure what to make of Bones' behavior just now. It was such a contrast to the way she'd acted that afternoon, when she'd been physically open but emotionally shut down.

Since they'd started this, he'd been certain they could make it work. Hell, they already knew each more about each other, more _of _each other than either of them had shared with anyone…well, ever.

But the tiniest seed of doubt was starting to work its way into him. Maybe they were both just too damaged, carrying too much baggage, to have a healthy, successful relationship.

He lathered his hair and considered what would happen if they couldn't make this work. After having slept wrapped around her, after watching her come apart underneath him, after hearing his name trip from her lips in that husky groan…

No. He refused to even entertain the possibility. They _would _make this work. She'd ruined him for anyone else now.

Besides, she'd come here. He almost couldn't believe his eyes when he'd come home to find her in his bed, her frame swallowed by one of his old, worn t-shirts.

After rinsing off the soap, he stood under the scalding spray for a few minutes, until his skin was lobster red and the air was so thick with steam he felt like he was breathing through wet cotton.

oOo

Brennan was buttering toast and scrambling eggs when Booth emerged from the bedroom, wearing a pair of soft flannel pants, his wet hair sticking up in random spikes.

She was standing in front of the stove, barefoot, clad only in his faded t-shirt that hit her mid-thigh. She was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

The smell of the food made Booth realize that he was ravenous. But before he could eat, he needed some answers.

He wanted to fold her in his arms and kiss her neck, but he was waiting for a hint from her on how to proceed. She turned and smiled at him shyly, handing him a cup of hot chocolate.

"I thought coffee would be a bad idea if we're going to get any more sleep tonight."

He nodded mutely, searching her face for a clue as to what she was thinking.

Brennan read the wariness in his eyes and cursed herself for behaving so irrationally. The entire time she'd been so distant she'd _known _she should just talk to him, but the words wouldn't form. She needed to process internally first.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him closer. He pinned her against the counter, hands at her waist, and held her gaze. When she didn't speak, he took half a step back and boosted her onto the counter, positioning his hips between her knees.

"Tell me," he whispered.

She winced at the pain in his voice. "I'm afraid."

He dropped his head to her shoulder, because looking into her eyes was tearing him up inside. "Of me? I swear, Bones, I—"

She gently lifted his face and forced him to meet her eyes. "Booth. You know better than that." She fed him a bite of scrambled egg from the pan. "I'm afraid that my presence in the field might put you at greater risk."

"You—what?" He tried to step back, but she tightened her legs around his hips.

She finished chewing her bite of toast and said, "This morning, when you advised me about my testimony, it forced me to consider our partnership and how it might be affected by the…new developments in our personal relationship. I'm concerned that I may be a liability to you in the field."

He knew what it must have cost her to admit that. Honestly, it was something that he had considered, too. Years ago, when he'd realized how much he cared about her. That he'd do anything—_anything_—to keep her safe. Hell, he'd already risked his life and his career for her. And though he was tempted by the thought of her safely ensconced in the lab, he knew she wouldn't really be satisfied. He didn't want her to resent him later.

He spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. "If you want to stay in the lab most of the time—if you think that's what's best—then I won't fight you on it. But, Bones, the fact that we're together now is not going to change _my _behavior in the field." She fed him another bite, and he sucked her fingers into his mouth, eliciting a gasp of surprise. He smiled smugly, and continued, "I've been in love with you for years. I couldn't possibly feel more protective of you now than I already did. And hey, if you're in the lab, then who's got my back?"

She frowned slightly. "I hadn't considered that."

He leaned forward and kissed her neck, his hands skating up her thighs and underneath the t-shirt she was wearing. "Which is why you should just _talk to me _instead of—oh, baby, you are _naked_ under here." His tone was light, but his eyes had gone so dark that a delicious shiver ran down her spine.

His hands were roaming all over her now, and she was writhing against him in response.

"Maybe we should just…eat later," she panted in his ear.

"Mmmmm-hmmm," he murmured against her collarbone.

She grabbed the hem of the shirt to pull it off, but he stopped her. "Leave it on," he rasped as he shed his flannel pants.

"Yeah?" she asked with an arched brow.

"Oh yeah," he groaned.


End file.
